Around the time I turned eighteen and had to start dealing with paperwork, and important phone calls, and bills all by myself, my mom started tossing out this cherub of a phrase: No one will take care of you like you do. It’s become more refined over the years, and now it’s like my personal motto to psych myself up.. Whenever I have to call someone about a job, or speak up when a service isn’t up to par, or ask for help from someone I don’t know, my first reaction is to panic, clam up, and completely avoid the situation. But when I remind myself that no one will take care of me like I will, it’s like the extra kick in the ass to woman up and go after what I need. When I need help, no one is going to read my mind and magically solve a problem for me. And if something isn’t right, no one is going to know unless I say it. “No one will take care of you like you do” isn’t about being a bossy bitch or standing up for yourself, it’s about knowing that you have the sole responsibility to take care of yourself and your issues and having the confidence to do it.
Like today. I have to get my student loans deferred, but to do that, I have to talk to the program coordinator of my department to see how to fill out the paperwork, which I also need her assistance filling out. I finally sucked it up yesterday and made the call, but I was only able to leave a voicemail. I’m not so patiently waiting for her to call me back today, as I’m panicking that I waited too long and ran out of time, that the program coordinator has forgotten who I am, or that I said something wrong in my voicemail and now she’s mad at me. They all seem ridiculous as I type them out here, but anxious thoughts aren’t rational.
Making that phone call was nerve-racking for me, but repeating that little mantra got me through it. And singing this song: