Day 5: 5 Things

5. List 5 things you wish people knew about you without having to explain the, oftentimes lengthy, story behind them.
From: http://www.thesitsgirls.com/blogging/january-writing-prompts/

I’m taking my own spin on today’s topic. These are things that I know and accept about myself. It would be easier for me if everyone I met automatically knew and accepted these things as well.

1. I hate horror movies more than the average Joe. I have problems ‘un-seeing’ things and would rather not voluntarily let my thoughts be consumed with terrifying villains and gruesome deaths. I’m not against being scared in totality, but there’s something about those horrific and violent images being shown on screen that sears them into my mind. I can’t handle that and I have no problem avoiding these kinds of movies (and American Horror Story) for the rest of my life.
2. Re: alcohol. So, I don’t drink. I’ve had the opportunity, no question, but never really felt the desire to drink or get drunk. I’ve had a drink a few times in my life and it made me a bit uncomfortable. The best reason I can think of for not drinking is just to maintain control. Drinking, in theory, makes me feel like I would be losing control over what I’m doing and saying, and I’m not comfortable giving that up. I have nothing against drinking, no moral reason for my “sobriety”. I just…don’t drink. I don’t think it’s that weird, but people tend to stare at me like I have three heads when I say it.
3. This part’s kind of awkward, but my Dad died when I was 17. There’s never a great time to tell someone that, but it is important to know. My parents were divorced when I was just a baby and I never lived with him or saw him on a daily basis. My whole life I never knew how to talk about him and know that he’s passed, I still don’t know how to bring it up or how to broach the subject if someone asks about my dad, unaware of the situation. When talking with people I know I’m not going to be close with, I usually just pretend like he’s still alive, just lives in Florida and is divorced from my mom. It makes the whole situation easier because people don’t feel bad for asking and then apologize, but why would they? How could they have know, right? I’d rather spare them the awkwardness because it’s not like you can go on and talk about the weather after a conversation like that. When I first moved into my dorm, one of the first things out of my mom’s mouth to my roommate was (I swear to god, this shit cannot be made up): “Hi, I’m Maggie’s mom. Her father passed away about a year ago.” Like, seriously? It was awful, but I’m glad she knew then because we could move past it. Sometimes I feel like I should wear a sign to tell people so I don’t seem like I’m hiding it from the world. Wow, that turned out much longer than I planned but I really needed to say it.
4. I know I can come off as cold, unsympathetic, and a bit harsh. I’ve never said ILY to anyone who wasn’t family, and I hardly do that ever and only when they say it first. I don’t try to be detached/emotionless, just comes naturally I guess! I promise I have feelings, there are people that I love, I CAN cry, and I do want a closeness with people. It takes awhile for me open up, it’s not all bitchy exterior.
5. Last one, and I’m tired so this will be short. I like being alone. Crowds and hanging out with people isn’t really my thing unless it’s with people I know very well. I’d rather be by myself instead of at a party where I don’t know anyone.

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