Little Miss Sunshine

I had no doubts that I would love this movie, I just never made time to watch it before. Paul Dano is one of my favorite actors, always impressing me.

The dance scene at the end…perfection. 10/10 would watch again.

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Movies I’ve Never Seen. Please Don’t Judge Me.

Usually I’d be too embarrassed to publish a list like this, but I found out that I’m not pregnant this morning so happy day! Nothing can stop me.

1. Pretty Woman

2. Rushmore

3. Boogie Nights

4. When Harry Met Sally

5. Mulholland Drive

6. Psycho

7. Alien

8. Raiders of the Lost Ark

9. The Matrix

10. 2001: A Space Odyssey

11. A Clockwork Orange

12. The Breakfast Club

13. Scarface

14. Goodfellas

15. The Godfather

16. Part II

17. Part III

18. Taxi Driver

19. Apocalypse Now

20. Do the Right Thing

21. Pulp Fiction

22. Saving Private Ryan

23. The Thin Red Line

24. Fargo

25. Moon (2009)

26. Starbuck (2011)

27. The Producers

28. The Nightmare Before Christmas

29. Man on the Moon

30. The Truman Show

31. Being John Malkovich

32. Little Miss Sunshine

33. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

34. Fight Club

35. The Shawshank Redemption

36. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

37. American Beauty

38. The Wedding Singer

39. Caddyshack

40. Happy Gilmore

41. The Big Lebowski

42. Galaxy Quest

43. Seven Psychopaths

44. Primer

45. Aliens

46. Drive

47. Black Swan

48. Memento

49. Malcolm X

50. Schindler’s List

51. The Deer Hunter

52. Se7en

53. Amelie

54. Reservoir Dogs

55. Mary and Max

56. The Princess Bride

57. Elizabethtown

58. Garden State

59. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

60. Almost Famous

61. Humpday

62. Away We Go

63. The Shining

64. Reality Bites

65. A Beautiful Mind

66. Beaches

67. Post Grad

68. St. Elmo’s Fire

69. The Lifeguard

70. Love Actually

71. Only Lovers Left Alive

72. Whip It

73. Walking and Talking

74. Lola Versus

75. About Schmidt

76. You’ve Got Mail

77. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

78. Heathers

79. Jerry Maguire

80. The Cable Guy

81. Take Me Home

82. Punch-Drunk Love

83. Strictly Ballroom

84. Rubber

85. A Late Quartet

86. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You

87. Upstream Color

88. Pi

89. Film Geek

90. The One I Love

91. Big

92. Laggies

93. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

94. Catch Me If You Can

95. Enough Said

96. Whiplash

97. Celeste & Jesse Forever

98. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

99. Magnolia

100. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

This is my New Year’s Resolution; to finally watch all of these movies. I might write a few words for each.

Sitting here at my desk, 2549 miles away from home, I’m less homesick than I was when I was only a 90-minute drive away. Strange.

I was the kid who went home every single weekend during college. I don’t think I stayed on campus even a single weekend during freshman year, but I might have stayed once a month by senior year. Or am I being too generous with myself? I lived alone in my apartment and, shocker, I wasn’t the hub where people came over all the time. I was so lonely most of the time that I went home solely for the comfort that another person would definitely be there.

I’ve already mentioned it before, but I was so nervous that homesickness and depression would overwhelm me when I moved out to LA. Now, it’s only been a few days out here on my own so time will tell, but I’m managing it pretty well. No doubt I’ve been bored and want of company, but I haven’t called my mom crying in the middle of the night asking her to buy me a plane ticket. Knowing my mom and recalling how much we both broke down when she left, she’d quickly whip out her credit card and get me on the next flight. When I was still a senior in college discussing grad schools with my advisor, she immediately USC and the west coast, to which I immediately responded, “No, no, I could never move to the west coast. Not an option.” Yet, here I am.

I don’t know why I feel so differently  about being alone and away from home now. Maybe it’s that I’m more prepared for it this time. Maybe it’s that college wasn’t initially my decision, it was something I had to do, and leaving home felt like it was forced on me. Maybe it’s that grad school is something I’ve worked toward for close to two years and the accomplishment is enough to drive out any feelings of wanting to go back to the way things were. Of course, I miss my friends (the both of them), my family, and the ease of being in my hometown. It’s less of a homesickness than it is a feeling of being disconnected. I’m out of the loop and that’s a bummer. I can still go to Target, I have the same comforter and pillowcases, and I watch the same TV shows, so it’s not a complete change from my usual normal. But I do have to turn on the GPS just to leave the house, think about what time it is on the east coast before calling family, and consciously try to stay involved in my friend’s lives. Being away from home isn’t as much sad, as it is difficult.

Best Advice

Around the time I turned eighteen and had to start dealing with paperwork, and important phone calls, and bills all by myself, my mom started tossing out this cherub of a phrase: No one will take care of you like you do. It’s become more refined over the years, and now it’s like my personal motto to psych myself up.. Whenever I have to call someone about a job, or speak up when a service isn’t up to par, or ask for help from someone I don’t know, my first reaction is to panic, clam up, and completely avoid the situation. But when I remind myself that no one will take care of me like I will, it’s like the extra kick in the ass to woman up and go after what I need. When I need help, no one is going to read my mind and magically solve a problem for me. And if something isn’t right, no one is going to know unless I say it. “No one will take care of you like you do” isn’t about being a bossy bitch or standing up for yourself, it’s about knowing that you have the sole responsibility to take care of yourself and your issues and having the confidence to do it.

Like today. I have to get my student loans deferred, but to do that, I have to talk to the program coordinator of my department to see how to fill out the paperwork, which I also need her assistance filling out. I finally sucked it up yesterday and made the call, but I was only able to leave a voicemail. I’m not so patiently waiting for her to call me back today, as I’m panicking that I waited too long and ran out of time, that the program coordinator has forgotten who I am, or that I said something wrong in my voicemail and now she’s mad at me. They all seem ridiculous as I type them out here, but anxious thoughts aren’t rational.

Making that phone call was nerve-racking for me, but repeating that little mantra got me through it. And singing this song:

August – Me Updates

In January, I posted about New Year’s Resolution’s and status updates on meself. Let’s see how I’m doing now that’s it’s August. (How is it August already?)

GRAD SCHOOL

Grad Schools Applied to: 5
Grad Schools Rejected from: 2
Grad Schools Waiting On: 0
Grad Schools Accepted To: 3 (USC FTW!, NC State and Georgia State University)
Grad School Officially Attending: USC for Critical Studies in the School of Cinematic Arts

BOOKS

Um, so I need to read more…

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MOVIES

I stopped keeping track of the movies I’ve watched this year when I abandoned my blog back in March.

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TELEVISION

#OITNBSEASONTWO. Holy fucking shit Rosa.

I also have a subscription to HBOGO now so I’m going to try to find time for Game of Thrones and The Wire. Emphasis on try.

JOB

I had a job at Old Navy for a few months and I loved it. Well, as much as you can love retail. And I had a crush on a manager so that helps you not hate going to work. But I left it when I moved out to LA. I was thinking about transferring to a store out here just so I could stay on payroll and work when I go home, but the closest ON is almost ten miles away and I’m not battling through LA traffic for a part-time job.

Especially when I have a new part-time job on campus! I found out a few weeks ago that I was hired as an office assistant in my department. Perfect job for me. Gah, I love when everything falls into place. Hopefully I can start working sooner rather than later because poor.

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DIET

Hahahahahah. HA. HAHAHAHA.

Okay, so I was doing so well. The lowest I’ve seen on the scale has been very close to a big goal, but not quite there. All in all, I was averaging about twenty pounds lighter than the heaviest weight I remember. Which is huge.

But then I drove across the country for a week and ate nothing but fast food and now I feel like I weigh 1000 pounds. I don’t have a scale here, and I really don’t plan on getting one because I don’t need that kind of pressure to look at it. I’m going on a baked chicken and salad kick to try to get rid of this fast food grossness. It’s not even the extra weight I probably gained, I felt so sick eating all the greasy food. It’s certainly noticeable how bad that food is for you when you stop eating it for awhile.

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RESOLUTION PROGRESS

Check out my resolutions, here.

1. Exercise: I bought a yoga mat and some 2 lb. weights. That’s enough for now. Maybe another two months and I’ll start using them.

2. Watch all the movies in my Netflix queue: Not even close.

3. Watch the acclaimed TV series: Last time I did this I was in the middle of Parenthood. It was good but I stopped after season 4 because I knew so many spoilers from the current season.

4. Reading: Like above, whoops.

5. Be more neat and organized: Moving certainly made me cut back on the amount of stuff I have, so my apartment is amazingly clean and organized. Everything has a place and right now, it’s in it.

6. Lose weight: Lost some, getting back on the wagon.

7. Stop eating out so much: Well I’m broke right now so that should be pretty easy.

8. Budget: I have an extensive color-coded budget of my expenses and income for the entire semester. I think I’m gonna be able to manage it.

9. Wear all the clothes in my closet: I have to pay $2.00 to do a load of laundry in my building, so I’ll probably be cycling through the back corners of the closet a bit more.

10. Coloring Book: I did bring it with me. Forgot the markers though.

I moved to Los Angeles!

Los Angeles, L.A.,the City of Angels, Tinseltown…home.

Today is my fifth day in my apartment, but my first day on my own. My mom had been with me since Aug 27th, driving out here from North Carolina, helping me move in, and buying me everything under the sun, but I drove her out to LAX this morning. I don’t like to cry in front of people, but we both lost it when we hugged goodbye. Right before she turned to leave she told me, “You’re making the right decision,” and I swear I could cry all over again just thinking about it.

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I’ve been worrying that being alone here would send me into a whirlwind depression, but so far that’s been cushioned by the fact that I’m in love with my apartment. It’s an old craftsman home that’s been remodeled into about a dozen units, and mine is filled with every Ikea product known to man and the cutest little desk you’ve ever seen. My windows are enormous and my balcony makes me feel like I’m in a treehouse, so no complaints there. Here’s to hoping sunset only brings on the night-time snacking and not the night-time sadz.

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Officially, I don’t have to do anything school-related until August 18th, save for some orientation and paperwork things. That’s when TA training begins, and then classes will start on the 26th. I guess I should mention that, *officially*, I’m going to grad school at USC for Critical Studies in Film. Until then, I’ll be spending my days reading all the things I should have been reading over the summer and trying not to eat all the food my mom bought to stock me up for the next few weeks. #thelittlethings